Devotion
by UndeadDolly
Summary: "Why are you here, Kaneki? I thought you had forgotten about me. I thought you didn't want anything to do with me."


**Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Ghoul.**

**Warning: Kaneki/Suicidal Hide.**

**Note: Enjoy.**

**Summary: **"Why are you here, Kaneki? I thought you had forgotten about me. I thought you didn't want anything to do with me."

Devotion

He couldn't anymore.

When Kaneki disappeared, Hide didn't initiate contact. He studied religiously - earning straight A's, a 4.0 GPA every semester. He received recognition - full tuition scholarships, to various prestigious universities

Unfortunately, Hide fell sick soon. He had horrible headaches - temples terribly throbbing, at the worst moments. He barely slept – miserably lying awake, just tossing and turning. He scarcely ate – skipping meals, even dropping weight.

XOXO

He looked down.

Meanwhile, Hide inched closer. He slowly shuffled – tentatively tiptoeing, to the edge. He wasn't afraid - far from fearful, the exact opposite. He was ready - feeling focused and fixed, to escape.

So, Hide lunged and leapt. He felt wind - billowing around, in his hair and clothes. He anxiously awaited - eagerly anticipating, his brush against concrete. It never came - abruptly prevented, just exactly in time.

XOXO

He was lifted.

Though, Hide landed roughly. He hopelessly tumbled – rolling recklessly, until halting somehow. He groaned painfully – body aching, clothes dirty and ripped. He sat up – hugging himself, spotting something slithering and serpentine. It was hovering – cautiously nearby, carefully curling and coiling.

Immediately, Hide felt paralyzed. His heart fluttered fearfully – thrumming loudly, pulse tremoring. His blood coursed – adrenaline flowing, providing courage. He was nervous – still somewhat unsure, about attempting escape. He was slow – less uncoordinated, to those ghoul appendages.

"Why didn't you just let me die?!" Hide asked, fists clenching, fingernails clawing, into his palms. "That … That was a stupid question. You want to eat me alive, don't you? It's what your kind do, right?"

"What happened to you, Hide? My best friend would never hurt himself, nor would he ever consider committing suicide," Kaneki admitted, kneeling down, his arms open. "It's not like you."

"Why are you here, Kaneki? I thought you had forgotten about me. I thought you didn't want anything to do with me."

"You're my best friend, Hide. I care about you so, so much."

"That's hard to believe, Kaneki. You just left me behind, stopped answering my phone calls and text messages. I barely heard a word from you, barely a word."

"I'm sorry, Hide. But I couldn't be around you. You know what I am now. And I can't control myself sometimes. I fear I might bring you harm. I missed you a lot though. I had to see you."

"I missed you, too."

"I really am sorry. I hope you can forgive me. Please don't hate me."

"I could never hate you. I'm just angry at you. It'll take time, but maybe I'll forgive you one day."

"I know and I understand. You can take all the time you need."

"It won't come easily. You'll have to earn what you want."

"I promise I will."

XOXO

He softly sniffled.

Then, Hide's facade fractured. He began sobbing – eyes wrinkling and watering, with glittering teardrops. He lay down – underneath crumpled blankets, his body trembling. He had innumerable meltdowns – school related typically, not this time.

Eventually, Hide felt movement. His bed turned – the mattress dipping, as he's embraced. He's held tightly – firmly secured, inside muscular arms. He liked being enveloped – sharing warmth, chasing loneliness off.

"I wish we could just stay like this forever," Kaneki murmured, nuzzling Hide, inhaling Hide's sweet scent. "I think we should talk, though. I have so many questions for you. You probably have so many for me."

"What would you like to ask me?" Hide mumbled, rolling over, clasping Kaneki's shirt. "What do you want to talk about? My counselor already tried talking to me. It didn't do anything."

"I know you don't want to talk. I only have one question. Why, Hide?"

"I don't know. I can't cope anymore. It seemed like the only option left."

"It's not, Hide."

"It's the only one that would've worked. I've tried everything else, but nothing changes the way I feel. And I feel so tired, scared, _stressed_. I can't do this anymore …"

"That's not true, Hide. I know you can."

"You're just saying that …"

"I'm not, Hide. You're a smart boy, the smartest I've ever known. That's why you received full ride scholarships, to the best universities in the world. I'm so proud of you, so happy for you. I know you can make your dreams come true, if you just realize your full worth and potential."

"If you mean that, then prove it."

"It'll be my pleasure. Whenever you get too stuck in your head, I promise I'll be right here for you."

"You better be."

"You my word."

XOXO

He yawned sleepily.

Still, Hide stayed awake. He was doubtful – reasonably so, of Kaneki's promise. He was hurt before – heartbroken even, by Kaneki's actions. He tried forgetting – moving on, his past returned. He couldn't forget now – pretend nothing happened, keep problems bottled.

But, Hide desired closure. He wanted peace – healing and harmony, to be proven wrong. He hated fighting – needlessly arguing, for the last word. It was childish – bickering back and forth, than maturely communicating.

"It's my turn now, isn't it?" Hide sighed, looking up, stroking Kaneki's cheek, who nodded in response. "When you left me behind, I poured myself into school. I made my parents so proud, bringing home scholarships and straight A's and awards. I didn't realize I was overworking myself, that I wasn't taking care of myself."

"Why, Hide?" Kaneki sputtered, closing his eyes, kissing Hide's palm, with his pale lips. "Why didn't you look after yourself, Hide?"

"I just wanted to forget about you. Besides, I did so well in school. Better yet, I made my parents so, so proud of me."

"It took a toll on you, though."

"That's why I went to my counselor, but they weren't of any help at all. They just made everything much worse by contacting my parents. My mom and dad wanted me to take a semester off of school. I can't do that. I would be wasting my time."

"It's good to take a break. You deserve it."

"I know, I know."

"Let me give you one, then. Let me take you far away for summer, a place where no one can find us."

"I have a feeling you won't tell me where this place is."

"It's a surprise."

"I thought so."

"I wish I could walk alongside you. I live in a much different world than yours. I can only support you, help uplift you, so you'll be far from mine."

"Whether you're a ghoul or human, I don't care. I just want you beside me, like how you are right now."

"I'm not the same person anymore."

"It doesn't matter. You'll always be my first and last love."

"I thought about you every day, how I wanted to touch you and kiss you. It's like you were haunting me, especially my dreams."

"Since you're helping me make my dreams come true, I think I should help yours come true as well."

"I like the sound of that."

"I love you, Kaneki."

"I love you, too."

* * *

**A/N:** What do you think? Leave me your thoughts.


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